~ Reflections ~ 28th May 2011

I'm sorry I didn't protect you like a mother should. I'm sorry I didn't want you. I'm sorry I rejected you. I didn't know what else to do. I was so scared. I didn't want to lose you, but I was so scared of having you. If you were here, I would have shown you so much love, nothing and no one would hurt you. I'd do anything in my power to keep you safe. I'd let you make mistakes, I'd let you learn from them. I'd hug you every day, just so you would know I loved you and that I am there for you, no matter what. I'd discipline you gently and let you learn. I'd let you push the boundaries. I'd let you be independent when you were ready - but you would always know I'd be there. I would listen to you and believe you. I'd believe in you. I'd tell you every day how special and beautiful and clever and amazing you are. You would never ever doubt how much I love you and how worthy you are. You would believe that you deserved happiness and love because I would tell you that and show you that. My actions would speak louder than words. I would show you off and be the proudest mother in the world for whatever achievements you made, whatever you wanted them to be. I'd support your decisions and guide you with them, letting you learn along the way. I'd let you laugh out so loud til your belly hurt and I'd let you get messy and leave your toys out. I'd let you be sad and cry when you wanted to. I'd let you slam your door and get angry and say how you felt. I'd respect you. I'd let you choose your own path. I would keep you safe. I would pack your lunch for school and I'd drop you off on time and pick you you up from the school gate every day. I'd teach you values and honesty and integrity. I'd teat you with dignity. I'd sit on the ground and play games with you. I'd teach you to read and read you a story every night. If you felt scared, I'd cuddle you and help to take away your fears. I would accept you, whoever you decide to be. I'd walk beside you and show you how much I love you - you would never have to doubt my love for you. I would keep you safe at home and keep those who might hurt you away. I'd let you have friends over and for you to go to your friends houses. I would let you know that I am okay and that you don't need to worry about me - you're a beautiful little girl who can go and explore and be spontaneous! I'd let you pick your first love and pick your friends. You could run off with the kids after lunch and play, you wouldn't be stuck cleaning with the adults. You would know that you are so loved. You are a beautiful, precious little girl, and you deserve to shine like all the stars in the Universe.

Song of the Day - Always There - Kate Alexa